January always brings a sense of starting over and the idea of a clean slate for the new year ahead. My 2018 wasn't great. There were constant ups and downs, my mental health really took a battering and sometimes I struggled to look forwards as all I could see was this neverending chronic illness that’d taken over my life. I want 2020 to be different and more positive, even if it's just a few little steps forwards or things to look forwards to/plan each month, at least it's somewhere to start off from. So I thought I’d try my best to put together a list of things I’d either like to achieve or will hopefully get to do each month. 


JANUARY

READ MORE BOOKS.
I’ve always been a massive bookworm but over the past few months I’ve found myself reaching for physical books less and less simply due to health, time and all the hours wasted I’ve spent mindlessly scrolling through Twitter (a habit I want to change). Luckily I received a few over Christmas or picked up in the sales/local charity shops so my main goal for 2020 is to finish those. There are six in total so in theory it should be easy. 

CONTINUE WORK ON MY PHYSICAL HEALTH.
This one’s a bit tricky as there’s no quick or easy fix. There’s also still no definitive cause or singular event my consultants can pinpoint as to what caused all this. It’s just a case of continuing to try different combinations of medicines to see what works the best with what. I’m just hoping that now we’re approaching being two years in to the physical symptoms (although in hindsight I’ve had symptoms here and there all my life) that there’s some sort of way to get and keep everything under control more effectively than it currently is.

WORK ON MY MENTAL HEALTH.
Something just as important as physical health is mental health and in all honesty, it’s really taken a sledgehammer of a battering with all that's gone on. Some days are good but there's others which sadly have been getting more and more frequent that I haven’t been able to do much besides cry, curl into a ball under five blankets and stare blankly into space whilst my thoughts spiral out of control. I want to try and not let everything get to me as much, which believe me is hard but I’m willing to give it my best shot this year.

GET TICKETS FOR THE MCR REUNION/TOUR.
Just putting it out positively into the world as I know trying to get tickets will be utter carnage. But I can positively dream and at least hope the universe gives me this one thing. Hoping that if I mention it enough it’ll happen so sorry if you've been listening to my endless prattling on since Halloween. 

BE MORE SUSTAINABLE & SHOP LESS.
Going completely in the opposite direction of what I’ve just said, I want 2020 to be the year I try and shop less, stop buying things I don’t really need and try to live a bit more eco friendly. I went pescitarian early last year both through choice and because my stomach can no longer digest meat or most dairy products. It’s not the biggest step but I like to think of it as a start. I’ve personally found it’s easier for me to eat more plant based leaning diets and there’s so many amazing vegan/veggie products on the market now that you’re really spoilt for choice. I’ve got my eye on the new Stella McCartney veggie chicken box and the Wagamama’s vegan katsu curry (just typing it is making me hungry!) I also have been having the best luck recently in charity shops, vintage emporiums and Depop when it comes to clothes, vinyls and other bits and pieces. I think it's just all about keeping a look out and trying to find it for the best price whilst also giving secondhand items and new home. I might actually put together a post about my best thrift/secondhand/Depop finds if anyones interested.

I’ll leave it there for now as I don't want to weigh myself down with a ridiculously long list for just one month but if you have any goals or plans in mind I’d love to hear about them.
- j