Twenty-nineteen was a little better than ‘18. Not good but better than it’d been before. I’ve got to the point mentally where I expect to be ill so I don’t get let down when I inevitably am, but when I do have a good day it’s a nice surprise. Maybe it’s acceptance, perhaps I just really can’t be arsed to worry over it too much these days. Shit literally happens. I’m sick & pretty fucking tired of letting it control my life and define me. I’d like to be more than ‘Jade with the fucked up stomach/bowel’.
However health/dates/circumstances depending I do have a few nice things in mind this year (hint, MyChem guys, please announce a world tour already!!! Saying that so many good bands/artists are touring this year. There’s another two I have in mind who’d I’d love to see.) I’d also love to eventually get back to work but in the meantime I want to try to get the creative side of my brain working. Maybe try to make something or other.
I want to continue building up my little instablog here. Ever since I switched to stuff that was more me & less trying to be a bit cookie cutter it’s really brought my love for writing & posting back. Even with the occasional dreaded mind blank. I’d also love to just get out more. See friends, family and meet new people (& get my anxiety under better control) it’s pretty dull stuck at home most days.
Finally, going back to the positive thing, I want to improve my self confidence. It was getting better until the big summer flare up of ‘19 then took a huge nosedive but I’d love to get a bit of it back. So to sum up my mammoth rambling: more positive outlook & self confidence; try to worry less; do/go places I’ve been hoping to go/do/see (seriously MCR announce the world tour!); aim time get back to work; create shit; blog more (including my actual blog); see friends & meet new people... a new character popping up in Riverdale doesn’t count!
I hope you all have a wonderful, positive new year. 🖤
- j
No comments
Post a Comment